Formal Wear Primer

[dnjan]

Thanks for the information. If I run into a rear-button formal shirt, I know now that feeling the buttons in back won't be a problem.

 

[avedwards]

Does anyone else find that outside of black tie events there seems to be a lot of dislike towards the dinner jacket? I've just found recently that various people (including those who like the fact that I wear a suit on a daily basis) seem to dislike me wearing a dinner jacket when going for a night out. It's branded overdressed or even pretentious, despite that I only use it because for me it's one step up from a suit (as I wear a suit every day I no longer feel dressed up enough in one).

 

[David Conwill]

I once heard ettiquite defined as making sure those around you are as comfortable as possible. So, if wearing a dinner jacket when going out makes your business-suit-wearing friends uncomfortable, perhaps it is a breach of ettiquite.

Put more generally, it may be a breach of ettiquite to draw more attention to yourself at the expense of your companions by the way you dress.

OTOH, this isn't "The Bareheaded Lounge", either. If you can justify a dinner jacket in a particular context for historical reasons; I think they've got nothing to say. Perhaps it's time to talk one of them into an upgrade, so you'll no longer be the anomaly, but part of a smaller group?

-Dave

 

[Tomasso]

I often go out on the town in Black Tie after an event without any negative comments from friends or strangers. But I imagine I would draw some flack from friends were I to show up at a bar or restaurant wearing a tux with no event on the calender. And as David mentioned, it is considered a faux pas according to the etiquette mavens.

 

[avedwards]

None of my friends ever wear business suits. I just meant they accept that I wear a suit every day (for no reason other than my own choice), but appear to have a problem the moment I step up by wearing a dinner jacket.

I can justify wearing a dinner jacket for historical reasons if I am going to a proper restaurant, but I would most likely be the only one wearing anything more than jeans and trainers. As there are very few black tie events these days I would have no opportunity to wear black tie (which I enjoy doing) unless I wear it in a context where nobody else will be wearing it. The problem is that these days a shirt and new jeans constitutes dressing up for some people, which for me would be dressing down.

 

[Feraud]

You may want to take into account how your dress makes your peers feel. Consider where these nights out are taking place. An expensive restaurant, a local pub, a ball game? What is the benefit of wearing a dinner jacket and shined shoes if no one wants to associate with you?

Being social is a balance of doing your thing while getting along in groups.

 

[AntonAAK]

Whilst obviously not discarding the friends you already have it might be helpful if you were to sometimes seek out the company of people who share your taste in dress. Are there other people in your area who are into vintage dressing? Clubs or bars that have regular vintage evenings?

Perhaps we are spoiled down here in London but I could easily find an event a week where I would not look out of place in black tie (not particularly expensive events either). If this is possible then perhaps you should save your black tie attire to share with people who will appreciate it and dress down when with your friends.

 

[Richard Warren]

Not sure what you mean by "black tie events." If you are wearing a dinner jacket, isn't it a black tie event, even if its only having dinner?

 

[avedwards]

Feraud and Anton, that's why I don't wear my dinner jacket when going out with friends as I don't wish to make them uncomfortable. My point was originally that I find it odd that people who accept and even sometimes encourage me to wear a three piece suit, bow tie, fedora, pocket watch and walking cane seem to be uncomfortable with a dinner jacket. Especially because anyone who knows me would be aware that I'm not trying to outdress anyone or be pretentious but simply wish to dress up for my own personal satisfaction. It doesn't bother me personally if I'm wearing black tie whilst all my pals are in jeans and trainers.

 

[dnjan]

I would probably find the walking cane to be more unusual than the dinner jacket, but perhaps that is due to the stereotyped "pimp" connotations of a walking cane over here.

 

[Fifty150]

I like to add my own sartorial touches. I now refuse to wear the "generic" black tie or white tie. I'll use a longer frock coat in place of the morning coat or tails. I've eliminated the ties all together by wearing a "Mandarin" collar or Mao suit. When I'm in the mood, I'll wear an ascot with a velvet smoking jacket. With day to day suits, I wear bow ties. Polished cowboy boots take the place of shiny patent leather.

 

[avedwards]

I would probably find the walking cane to be more unusual than the dinner jacket, but perhaps that is due to the stereotyped "pimp" connotations of a walking cane over here.

That's precisely what I don't understand: people do not mind the walking cane (and it is the silver topped sort) but do mind the dinner jacket.

 

[avedwards]

Not sure what you mean by "black tie events." If you are wearing a dinner jacket, isn't it a black tie event, even if its only having dinner?

I only think of something as a black tie event if there if all or most of the people attending wear a dinner jacket (either by unwritten agreement or request of the host). If I'm going to dinner and I'm the only person in a dinner jacket I wouldn't consider it a black tie event.

 

[dnjan]

That's precisely what I don't understand: people do not mind the walking cane (and it is the silver topped sort) but do mind the dinner jacket.

I suppose it would be tacky to ask if you have an attractive woman on each arm ...

 

[avedwards]

I suppose it would be tacky to ask if you have an attractive woman on each arm ...

I only ever have an attractive woman on one arm, and due to it always being the same one I hope any pimp connotations are lost... I try to look like a traditional respectable English gentleman look when I use the cane.

 

[AntonAAK]

I only ever have an attractive woman on one arm, and due to it always being the same one I hope any pimp connotations are lost

The same woman or the same arm?

 

[avedwards]

The same woman or the same arm?

Usually both are the same because the lady carries her bag on her left hand side meaning it is more comfortable for me to be on her right.

 

[Cobden]

Some morning coat questions; I've recently got myself a rather gorgeous morning suit for a wedding I shall soon be attending. Whilst I appreciate the controversy this will cause, I shan't wear a topper (the groom won't be) for this particular event (though I will be picking one up for the future), nor wearing gloves or carrying a cane (same reason - whatever one thinks about omitting these items, upstaging the groom is a bigger no-no as far as I'm concerned).

However, as I have what I think/hope, as a colour blind chap, is a "buff" waistcoat (I have no idea what buff is other, to be perfectly honest. But this waistcoat is a sort of dully-bright colour on what I see as the yellow-green-brown spectrum), I am uncertain as to whether one wears a grey tie with this or traditionally some other colour for a wedding.

In addition, whilst I have no desire for such at this occasion, what are the traditional styles of cane? Would it be a thin walking stick with a crook handle? Or is it more of a cane then a walking stick? And what material (well, wood - obviously plastic/concrete/asbestos are out - but what sort of wood)?

Usually both are the same because the lady carries her bag on her left hand side meaning it is more comfortable for me to be on her right.

I always prefer to stand so that I am between the young lady and the road. This is to protect the young lady from tigers

 

[Charlie Huang]

Morning suit or morning coat? The former is all the same grey whilst the latter is black coat, striped trousers and coloured waistcoat.

Yes, I agree with the topper, etc. One should not upstage the groom.

Buff is sort of beige. The exact tone varies from light brown to almost pastel yellow. As long as it is pastel in tone it is okay.

The cane really can be anything elegant and simple but traditionally it is malacca or ebony with a silver or gold top and straight. A dress cane does not have a crook (that would make it a walking stick as the crook is there to assist with the walking) IMHO but anyhow, it is one's choice.

 

[Charlie Huang]

I got my opera pumps yesterday:

They are from Broadland Slippers. Had to return them twice because of fitting issues (my heel kept slipping out when walking) and both times they sized down by two so originally I ordered an 8 and now it is a 6! This whole process took 6-9 months as they had to remake the shoes everytime I returned them!

The fit is very tight as you'd imagine but the heel slippage problem is no more.

Above I'm wearing them with silk full hose (to be worn with breeches, etc).