Nobody Can Insult Someone Like....

[deadpandiva]

Supposedly when someone told Katharine Hepburn that Grace Kelly studied her performance in "The Philadelphia Story" for "High Society" she replied "She should have studied harder."

 

[Haversack]

From the 1933 Paramount musical _Footlight Parade_:

"Outside, countess. As long as they've got sidewalks YOU'VE got a job."

Haversack.

 

[Smithy]

"A perfect saint amongst women, but so dreadfully dowdy that she reminded me of a badly bound hymn-book."

I haven't heard that for years! Many thanks Edward, it's a gem of a line.

 

[Spitfire]

Just another from Winston Churchill:
Lady: If you were my husband, I would poison your tea.
Churchill: If I were your husband, I would drink it!
:eusa_clap

 

[SamMarlowPI]

Supposedly when someone told Katharine Hepburn that Grace Kelly studied her performance in "The Philadelphia Story" for "High Society" she replied "She should have studied harder."

OUCH! lollol

"Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?"

 

[Sassman]

From Groucho:

"Better yet, I'll go home with your wife. Outside of the improvement, she'll never notice the difference."

I don't know to whom to ascribe these gems:

"I've seen better faces on an Iodine bottle."

"He's about as smart as a sack of hammers."

"The fellow was descended from a long line of bachelors."

 

[deadpandiva]

From Groucho:
"The fellow was descended from a long line of bachelors."

That's hillarious!

 

[Diamondback]

Another one from the Savior of Western Civilization:
"Unbeatable in defeat, unbearable in victory."--Sir Winston Churchill, on Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery

 

[BigSleep]

Can't forget the cynical Rick Blane in Casablanca.

Ugarte: You despise me, don't you?
Rick: If I gave you any thought I probably would.

OUCH!

 

[Diamondback]

Of course, how could we forget Old Blood & Guts, with his colorful epithets like "... purple-peeing..." and "To Berlin, to personally shoot that paper-hanging son-of-a-..."

Not to mention his taking a leak in the Rhine... a very subtle insult, but also a very symbolic and serious one. (Or maybe he was just "marking territory"...lol )

 

[Doh!]

Can't forget Foghorn Leghorn:

"Boy's so dumb, he thinks a pig pen is something you write with."

"...he thinks the Mexican border pays rent."

 

[jgilbert]

Jim Rockford "she is about 3 fries short of a happy meal"

 

[MrNewportCustom]

Can't forget Foghorn Leghorn:

"Boy's so dumb, he thinks a pig pen is something you write with."

"...he thinks the Mexican border pays rent."

"The boy's about a sharp as a bowling ball."


Lee

 

[dhermann1]

Lady Astor

That famous interaction between Lady Astor and Churchill ("If I were your husband, I'd drink it!") was highly authenticated. They were at a party some time beforw the war, and had been going at each other all evening. It culminated in this famous gibe, which was testified to by all present.
fftopic:
Lady Astor was a fascinating woman. Her husband was Lord Astor, whose father had left the US for England, and been elevated to the peerage. She was a Virginia socialite, who wound up being the first (I believe) woman elected to the British Parliament. Unfortunately she had a proclivity for being spectacularly and vociferously wrong about LOTS of topics, hence the enmity between her and Winston. But a colorful lady nonetheless.

 

[HadleyH]

Not from films but related to the film industry

W.C.Fields (known for being a heavy drinker) -asked if he had the DTs since coming to Hollywood:

"I don't know. There's no way of telling where the DT's leave off and Hollywood begins."

______________

The 1925 epic Ben-Hur was dismissed by one critic in these words:

"Loved Ben, hated Hur."

_____________

Howard Dietz once remarked about Tallulah Bankhead, always a good example of the brittle world of Hollywood...

"A day away from Tallulah is like a month in the country".

__________

and more recently....

David Bowie summed up his success in "The Man Who Fell to Earth"

"I'm an instant star, just add water an stir."

 

[airgrabber666]

From "Bull Durham"

"You just got lesson number one: don't think. It can only hurt the ball club." - Crash Davis

 

[Edward]

Was a fascinating woman. Her husband was Lord Astor, whose father had left the US for England, and been elevated to the peerage. She was a Virginia socialite, who wound up being the first (I believe) woman elected to the British Parliament. Unfortunately she had a proclivity for being spectacularly and vociferously wrong about LOTS of topics, hence the enmity between her and Winston. But a colorful lady nonetheless.

Countess Constance Markiewicz (Sinn Fein, Dublin St Patrick's) was the first woman elected to the British House of Commons, in the general election of 1918. She did, however, follow Sinn Fein protocol of the time and thus, abiding by their abstentionist policy, refused to take her seat, instead becoming involved in the first dail Eireann. All this time she was still in prison, having been one of the leaders of the Easter Rising in 1916, her death sentence commuted to life imprisonment on "account of the prisoner's ***." (to which she responded, in court, "I do wish your lot had the decency to shoot me".).

By any chance was Lady Astor the first to actually take her seat in the Commons?

 

[LizzieMaine]

My two favorite comments about Hollywood:

"Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for someone important." -- Fred Allen

"Hollywood -- it's a trip thru the sewer in a glass-bottomed boat." -- Wilson Mizner

 

[HadleyH]

some more...

In the decade after WW1 many of the new stars, particulary the tough, young males leads, were recruited by talent scouts from shops and petrol stations and taken straight from the street into the studios. Humphrey Bogart spoke for many of these toughs when he commented:

"Shout 'gas' around the studios today,and half the young males stars will come running."
_____________

Robert Redford:

"If you stay in Beverly Hills too long you become a Mercedes."

________

After completing the film "Bill of Divorcement" in 1932 Katherine Hepburn, who had played the part of John Barrymore's daughter, said to him:


"Thank God I don't have to act anymore with you"
"Oh", said Barrymore, I didn't know you ever had, darling." lol

 

[jamespowers]

No one has mentioned one of the nexus insult kings: Mark Twain:
The trouble is that the stupid people -- who constitute the grand overwhelming majority of this and all other nations -- do believe and are molded and convinced by what they get out of a newspaper.

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying "flee at once - all is discovered." They all left town immediately.

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork.

Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself.