Classic One Liners and Quotes

[Marc Chevalier]

Bill Munny: Who's the fellow who owns this sh----e?

Ahem ... don't you mean turd trench?

.

 

[Doh!]

"I'd hate to take a bite out of you. You're a cookie full of ****nic."

"Son, I don't relish shooting a mosquito with an elephant ***, so why don't you just shuffle along?"

"My right hand hasn't seen my left hand in thirty years."

"President? My big toe would make a better President."

"I love this dirty town!"

"Match me, Sidney."

--Sweet Smell of Success

 

[ideaguy]

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception" Groucho Marx

 

[The Wolf]

"Don't ask a dying man to lie his soul into hell."

"Evil may triumph, Sid, but it'll never conquer"
and from the same movie "If all this were about money, I'd be working for the wrong side most of the time."

I would include Thomas Hayden Church's speech from "The Specials" but it definately is not a oneliner.

Sincerely,
The Wolf

 

[happyfilmluvguy]

In Charade, when Audrey Hepburn is touching Cary Grant's chin and says, "How do you shave in there?" haha.

Best moment for Cary Grant

 

[AllaboutEve]

"into the mud, scum queen!"

lol lol lol lol I've been quoting that for years, love it!

 

[tallyho]

Slim Pickens in Dr. Stranglove

"That sounds like it would make a good weekend in Las Vegas"

The original line in the movie he said Dallas instead of Vegas, more appropriate for a cowboy. It was edited to Vegas since Kennedy had just been shot there just before the movie was released. If you listen/watch closely, you can catch the edit.

 

[tallyho]

lol lol lol lol I've been quoting that for years, love it!

Finally someone else that knows that line. Ive been using it since the 80s and no one ever gets it!

 

[tallyho]

"Its spring time for Germany's WWII-era leader and Germany, winter for Poland and France"

"Somebody better go back and get a sh*tload of dimes"

"excuse me while I whip this out"

"we're on a mission from God"

"I hate Illinois Germany's WWII-era leaderships"

 

[Jack Scorpion]

"we're on a mission from God"

"I hate Illinois Germany's WWII-era leaderships"

I'll have an Orange Whip. Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips.

 

[czack]

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

If you gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk.

 

[tallyho]

"four fried chickens and a Coke"

"This mall sure has a lot of space"

"one prophylactic, Soiled"

"its 150 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a back of cigarettes, its dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it!"

 

[Haversack]

A few from one of the most quotable movies ever made:

"When the king is off his a**, nobody sleeps!"

"Of course he has a knife, he always has a knife, we all have knives! It's 1183 and we're barbarians!"

"There'll be pork in the treetops come morning."


"What family doesn't have its ups and downs?"

Haversack.

 

[Hemingway Jones]

Bill Munny:Who's the fellow who owns this s-----e?
[pause]
Bill Munny: You, fat man. Speak up.
Skinny Dubois: Uh, I...I own this establishment. I bought the place from Greeley for a thousand dollars.
Bill Munny: [referring to somebody standing behind Skinny] You better clear outta there.
Little Bill Daggett: You just hold it right there! Hold it!
[Munny shoots Skinny]
Little Bill Daggett: Well, sir, are a cowardly son of a b---h! You just shot an unarmed man!
Bill Munny: He should have armed himself if he was goin' to decorate his saloon with my friend.
Little Bill Daggett: You'd be Will Munny out of Missouri; killer of women and children.
Bill Munny: That's right. I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawls at one time or another, and I'm here to kill you Little Bill for what you did to Ned.
[pause, to bystanders]
Bill Munny: You boys better move away.
Little Bill Daggett: [walking toward Will] All right gentlemen, he's got one barrel left. When he fires it, take out your ******s and shoot him down like the mangy scoundrel he is!

So, I was pretty close for doing that off the top of my head from a film I saw almost 15 years ago.

BTW, everyone, please edit out the profanity, so I won't have to.

 

[Hemingway Jones]

Please everyone use a little discretion at some of the content you are putting on this thread. Some of these quotes are over the top.

 

[Lincsong]

History of the World Part I

Mel Brooks as the King of France;
It's good to be the King.

 

[Nick Charles]

1+1+2+1 no thats 1+2+1+1

"Who are you Perry Mason?"

Mr. Green "I'm a plant"

Mrs.Scarlet "I thought men like you were usually called a fruit"

"My name is Muerte- My name is Death" "Mortie nice to meet you my name's Jeff"

Jeff "What do you do for a living?"
LT. "I'm and Airline pilot"
"I thought you said you were a vacuum cleaner sales man"

Jeff "Well if you knew then why'd you ask?"

"If it bleeds we can kill it"

 

[Hemingway Jones]

"You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill."
-Also said to great comic effect by J. Peterman in Seinfeld.

 

[Kent Allard]

I'll make him an offer he can't refuse. - The Godfather

Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself "slightly" killed. - North by Northwest

Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown. - Chinatown

You're gonna need a bigger boat - Jaws

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people. - V for Vendetta

 

[carebear]

Mack: Shame what this town's come to.
Charley Waite: You could do something about it.
Mack: What? We're freighters. Ralph here's a shopkeeper.
Charley Waite: You're men, ain't you?
Mack: I didn't raise my boys just to see 'em killed.
Charley Waite: Well you may not know this, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dying.

-Open Range