Classic One Liners and Quotes

[tallyho]

"when you passed out, your ******* got all out of whack"

"what ever he's paying you I'll double it and we'll beat the sh*t out of him"

"you stuck your finger in my ******hole"

 

[tallyho]

"I just went *** all of a sudden"

 

[tallyho]

"put on your dancing shoes and I'll go shave my tongue"

"she rips your heart out of your chest and steps all over it with her high heels, then she throws it in the oven and cooks the sh*t out of it, then slams it on a hunk of toast and serves it to you and expects you say gee hun, that tastes great!"

"into the mud, scum queen!"

 

[scotrace]

"If you and your undershirt would take two paces backward, I could enter this dwelling."

"Please bring me some aspirins. You'll find them in the medicine cabinet behind the untouched can of shaving cream"

"Steal something casual."

"Don't you wish you were me? I know I do..."

They promised me a possee, which so far has been long on promise and short on possee."

'I call that mighty bold talk for a one-eyed fat man."

"It's scotch... Probably."

"Why, by God, girl, that's a Colt's Dragoon! You're no bigger than a corn nubbin, what're you doing with all this ******?"

"Well if I had a big horse ****** like that I wouldn't be scared of no "boogerman".

"I can't wait forever to catch you between husbands."

"Now Tom, I've seen 'im drunker. I've seen you drunker... and you've seen me..."

"Look at that nasty looking man... he looks as if he knew what I looked like without my shimmy..."

 

[Feraud]

"Louie, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"If I am going to die I will die last."

"You talkin' to me?"

"You boys gonna pull them ******s or whistle Dixie?"

 

[Serial Hero]

“What’s the matter, can’t talk with a *** in your mouth?”

“I don’t know, I’m makin this up as I go along.”

“He chose… poorly”

“He chose… wisely”

 

[tallyho]

"I want that nancy boy DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burnt to the ground! i want to go there in the middle of the night and pi$$ on his @sses!"

"Isn't that just like a wop, brings a knife to a ***fight!"

"don't let him change himself until after he talks"

 

[Haversack]

A few more. This time without sources.

"Don't forget that most men with nothing would rather protect the possibility of becoming rich than face the reality of being poor."

"Push the button, Max"

"You are a great deal of trouble, Mrs. Pedecaris."

"Touch?©, Rassendyll! I cannot get used to fighting furniture - where did you learn it?"

"It is so difficult to make a neat job of killing people with whom one is not on friendly terms."

Haversack.

 

[Hondo]

John Wayne, McLintock!

Person: Don't hit him!!!
JW: I won't hit him, I won't, the hell I won't!!! lol

 

[Wild Root]

There are just too many!

Reporter: Say listen, is he working on a case?
Nora Charles: Yes, he is.
Reporter: What case?
Nora Charles: A case of scotch. Pitch in and help him.

and
Reporter: Well, can't you tell us anything about the case?
Nick Charles: Yes, it's putting me way behind in my drinking.

and the best:
Nick Charles: Come on, let's get something to eat. I'm thirsty.

Those are the best! Love the Thin Man!

Nora: What are your types darling?
Nick: Your type darling, Lanky Brunettes with wicked jaws.
Nora: Pretty girl, who was she?
Nick: Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't ask me that, you see she's my daughter, it was spring in Paris, I was young, I didn't know what I was doing, we're all like that on my Father's side...
Nora: By the way, how is your Father's side?
Nick: Oh fine thanks, and yours?

lol lol lol lol.

Love this one after Nora's 6 Martinis.

Nora: What hit me?
Nick: The last Martini! How about a pick-me-up?
Nora: NO!
(Phone rings)
Nora: Who's calling?
Nick: Probably Santa Claws.

=WR=

 

[Sunny]

Since the trend appears to be unattributing, here are a few contributions. Virtual bonbons to those who identify them! They shouldn't be too hard.

"Push the button, Max"

"Rise and shine, Professor."
"You rise! You shine!"

"Gentlemen, be seated."

"Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops."

"Money is the world's curse."
"May the Lord smite me with it! And may I never recover!"

"When two people love each other, they come together - WHAM - like two taxis on Broadway."

"Whaddya think I am, dumb or somethin'?!"

"Is there no limit to the wonderfulness of your mind?"

 

[DanielJones]

Life is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you're stuck with this undefinable whipped mint **** that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while there's a Peanut Butter Cup or an English Toffee. But they're gone too fast and the taste is... fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts. And if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you got left is an empty box... filled with useless brown paper wrappers. - Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man (X-Files)

What we've got here is... failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it... well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you men.-Cool Hand Luke

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know. - Animal Crackers

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room! - Dr. Strangelove

You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers. - O Brother, where art thou?

Well he is fast.
Yeah... In every direction - Seabiscuit

Cheers!

Dan

 

[Tomasso]

Nora: What are your types darling?
Nick: Your type darling, Lanky Brunettes with wicked jaws.
Nora: Pretty girl, who was she?
Nick: Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't ask me that, you see she's my daughter, it was spring in Paris, I was young, I didn't know what I was doing, we're all like that on my Father's side...
Nora: By the way, how is your Father's side?
Nick: Oh fine thanks, and yours?

lol lol lol lol.

That's when Nora, with Asta in tow, meets Nick at the restaurant. Classic Thin Man!

 

[Wild Root]

Yes! I love that film!lol

=WR=

 

[Hemingway Jones]

"I don't deserve this..."
"...This ain't about deserves."

"You just shot an unarmed man."
"Well, he should have armed himself."


"Are you Bill Munny; a man who killed innocent women and children?"
"Yeah, I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawls along this earth, but today, Little Bill, I'm gonna kill you."
-Clint Eastwood "Unforgiven"

"The stuff that dreams are made of."

"Is there anything that isn't yours?"
"Yes, thank heavens: you!"
"Bringing Up Baby"

 

[The Reno Kid]

Spade. after disarming Wilmer, hands two large ******s to Guttman:

A crippled newsie took 'em away from him.

Classic.

 

[Lincsong]

Slim Pickens is Blazing Saddles;

"what in the wide wide world of sports of going is here"

Slim Pickens in Dr. Stranglove

"That sounds like it would make a good weekend in Las Vegas"

Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove;

"yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaawwwwww, yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaw, yaaaaaaahoooooooo yaaaaaaaaaaahoooooooooooooo

 

[Tomasso]

IMO. The Most Poignant Line In "Unforgiven".

"Are you Bill Munny; a man who killed innocent women and children?"
"Yeah, I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawls along this earth, but today, Little Bill, I'm gonna kill you."
-Clint Eastwood "Unforgiven"

Bill Munny:Who's the fellow who owns this s-----e?
[pause]
Bill Munny: You, fat man. Speak up.
Skinny Dubois: Uh, I...I own this establishment. I bought the place from Greeley for a thousand dollars.
Bill Munny: [referring to somebody standing behind Skinny] You better clear outta there.
Little Bill Daggett: You just hold it right there! Hold it!
[Munny shoots Skinny]
Little Bill Daggett: Well, sir, are a cowardly son of a b---h! You just shot an unarmed man!
Bill Munny: He should have armed himself if he was goin' to decorate his saloon with my friend.
Little Bill Daggett: You'd be Will Munny out of Missouri; killer of women and children.
Bill Munny: That's right. I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawls at one time or another, and I'm here to kill you Little Bill for what you did to Ned.
[pause, to bystanders]
Bill Munny: You boys better move away.
Little Bill Daggett: [walking toward Will] All right gentlemen, he's got one barrel left. When he fires it, take out your ******s and shoot him down like the mangy scoundrel he is!

 

[jazzzbaby]

Saw this this tonight...it's the title and is also used in the movie.
Barbara Stanwyck & Burt Lancaster

"Sorry...wrong number"

 

[DanielJones]

1941

It's big. The biggest one here. You know what else? It's got a lot of range. You know what I mean by range, don't you? I mean it can stay up for a long time. A very long time. And it's built firm and solid. Because it has to be. Because of its tremendous forward thrust. And when this baby delivers its payload... devastating.

Captain Wild Bill Kelso: My name's Wild Bill Kelso, and don't you forget it!
Colonel "Madman" Maddox: That's the kind of talk I like to hear, boy. That's it, lemme hear your ***s.
Captain Wild Bill Kelso: My ***s?
Colonel "Madman" Maddox: Yes, I wanna hear what they sound like, let me hear 'em.

Hollis P. Wood: You sneaky little batards aren't getting doodly s**t from me, except maybe my name, rank, and Social Security number: Wood, Hollis P., Lumberjack, Social Security 106-43-2185

Hollis P. Wood: [after seeing Captain von Kleinschmidt enter] Jesus Palomino, a Germany's WWII-era leadership. I knew it, you're all in cahoots. Well let me tell you something, Mr. Heinie Kraut, I fought your kind in the great war, and we kicked the living s**t out of you!

Raoul Lipschitz: Ladies and gentlemen, every where I look... soldiers are fighting sailors, sailors are fighting marines. Directly in front of me, I see a flying blond floozy. Everywhere I look, everywhere, pure pandemoninium - pandemonium.


Cheers!

Dan